


Another Facet

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, POV Alternating, POV First Person, basically season 2, not impossible but not really canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 10:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6700624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pearl and Amethyst become closer while nobody's watching.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst approaches Pearl after a trying night.

The room had been still for a long time. I had never seen Garnet sleep before, so I still wasn't quite convinced she wasn't faking it, but Steven finally seemed to be getting his much-needed rest. All I could hear was their heavy breathing and the gentle rolling of the ocean. I thought about everything that had happened that night. Our searching for Lapis, and Steven saying he had talked to her while he was asleep. The slumber party...and Pearl's dream.  
Her dream...  
I laughed at the time, but after her nap she did start to seem kind of distracted. She tries not to act like that, normally, and I think she would've gone back to her room so no one would see her like this. But she was probably worried about not being here for Steven, and waiting for Garnet.  
So she was still here. Maybe she would talk to me.  
"Hey, Pearl," I whispered. "You're not going back to sleep, are you?"  
"No, I'm not. Why?" I was a little worried the question might bother her, but her tone was simply blank. I couldn't tell what she was feeling.  
"Do you maybe...wanna talk? We can go outside. It'll be nice."  
"Talk? About what?"  
"I dunno, anything really? Steven was right, we've been really busy lately. It'll help you relax."  
I couldn't actually tell her how much I worried about her, with everything that had happened since we encountered the gems from Homeworld. I knew she was anxious to find them, and Steven had shared his concerns about Connie's swordfighting lessons with me. For a long time it felt like we didn't have to do much, just the occasional battle and bubble. But these days-especially with Steven around-we didn't really have much time to stop and take it easy.  
"Okay, then. That sounds...nice."  
We sneaked out onto the porch. It was easy for her, as careful and reserved as she is all the time. I struggled, trying not to make much more noise than her, and slowly made my way down all of the steps to the soft sand on the beach. The cool, salty breeze was a slightly unpleasant reminder of our earlier expedition, but at least now, we could look up, into a clear sky of stars, instead of down through the murky waves. She was sitting down on the beach already, so I sat down in front of her. Not too close; Pearl needs her space.  
"You're okay, right? You seemed kind of troubled when you woke up earlier." It was an honest question. I really did want to know how she was feeling, even if I already had some ideas.  
"I...I don't know. I wasn't expecting dreaming to be so...intense. Is it always like that?"  
"Nah, I usually just dream about food and stuff like that. It's nice and relaxing for me."  
"Well, in my dream, I was...with Rose. It was just us. We were free."  
"Free? What do you mean?"  
"We didn't have to think about protecting the earth and humans. Or even Homeworld. We could just go anywhere, and do anything, that we wanted. Together. I felt so happy...like I hadn't since..."  
She stopped, and turned her head away from me. I didn't move, but I could see the tears forming in the corner of her eye.  
"But none of that was real...and when I realized that, everything came back so fast." She began crying. "The pain of losing her. That fear...I don't know, even now...what to do without her..."  
"Is it really that bad, being here with Garnet and me? And Steven?"  
"N-no! But I...I never had to worry so much. She just always seemed to know what to do...and all I had to do was trust her, and I could believe everything would be fine in the end."  
"Then...do you trust her now?"  
"What? I don't understand what you mean."  
"If Rose knew that she wouldn't always be here for us, if she knew one day we would only have each other...and Steven...do you really think she would have left us, if she didn't think we'd be okay? She must have been sure we would figure things out, even if I've had...my own doubts sometimes..."  
Well, that started going the wrong way. I was trying to be strong. I wanted show Pearl I was there for her when she needed it, not to bring my own problems to her.  
"Well," I continued, "you're really strong, so I just know that you'll find a way to be happy again. Just don't give up, okay? We're all here for you."  
"Thank you, Amethyst." She wiped her face with the back of her hand, and the tears stopped.  
I couldn't think of any more to say. We simply sat quietly for a long time. Finally, I approached her with a hug, which she accepted, to my surprise. And in her soft embrace, all my worries faded, for just a moment. It felt like there was nothing but us, almost like...being Opal. When she let go it felt far too soon. But I guess she was ready, so I couldn't complain.  
"Good night, Amethyst," she said, quietly, as she once again approached the house. Her tone was not yet her normal, almost singing voice, but it was a big improvement from her somber and forlorn mood earlier.  
"Good night, Pearl."  
And with that, I was alone on the beach, left to ponder my own feelings, which I could hardly say I understood any better than hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This is basically my first fic, so even though it feels short it took me kinda forever to write out! Oh, and I'll have to work on the formatting, too. I know this part wasn't especially intimate or romantic or whatever, because I originally had a slightly different idea of what it was going to be about. But as I was working I had some ideas for further stories to build on this one; there's been a big shift in the relationship between Pearl and Amethyst since the first season, and I realized how much fun it would be to try and come up with my own take on stuff between them that we didn't see since the show is almost all based on the perspective of what Steven is doing. I'd like to do more chapters in the future, especially if people like this one!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gems' relationships hits a rough patch, but Amethyst keeps trying.

It had been a few days since Garnet and Pearl's fight at the communication hub. Or at least, that's what I was guessing, since I was bored out of my mind and not feeling so great anyway. I had pretty much done nothing but sleep since we got back, made far easier by Garnet and Pearl apparently also keeping to themselves. Usually, they'd eventually come by and wake me up for some reason or another, but I hadn't seen either of them in a while. And I also hadn't seen...Steven. _Is he all right?_ I wondered. _Maybe I should go out there...if it's been as long as I think it has then he might even be worried about me, too._  
As soon as I opened the door, the midday sun poured through the windows, flooding my vision, and I heard Steven bounding down the stairs.  
"Amethyst!" he called out.  
"Hey, Steven." I tried to muster a little enthusiasm, especially since he was a little more excited to see me than I was used to.  
"Have you seen Garnet or Pearl?" he asked.  
"Uh...no. Do you need something?"  
"I'm just worried about them. Well, I was worried about you too. But you seem like you're doing okay."  
"Yeah, I'm fine." I stopped. "We...can all take care of ourselves."  
He spent a moment in thought. "Do you think things will be back to normal soon?"  
_Nothing like this has ever happened before. Rose always kept us close. Close to her, and to each other. So there's no way to know how things will end up. But...I figure it has to work out...eventually. And it's not like I could tell Steven otherwise._  
"Yeah, I'm sure everything will work out. They probably just need a little more time."  
He smiled a bit, but I wasn't sure I'd convinced him.  
"You...wanna watch some cartoons?" He asked. "Crying Breakfast Friends is about to come on!"  
"Uh, sure, I guess."  
The episode was a rerun. Even _I_ had already seen it before. But it did take my mind off things a little. It was nice to spend time with Steven...to feel like I was doing anything. After it ended Steven sat there awkwardly for a moment, then got up. "I was thinking about going to the Big Donut. Lars and Sadie will be there! Do you want to come?"  
"Nah, thanks." I replied.  
"Then...do you want me to get you anything?"  
"I think I just...want to go back to sleep for a while."  
"Ok! See you later, Amethyst!" he called as he rushed out of the house.  
I lazily approached my room in the temple when one of the other doors opened.  
"Oh! Garnet..."

=============================================================

When I returned from the temple again, Pearl was the only one around. She sat nervously on the couch, with her legs twitching slightly and hands tightly clasped together.  
"A-Amethyst! Steven and Garnet went on a trip with Greg! I just thought...I should tell you that." Her voice trailed off sadly.  
"O...kaaaaayyyyyy..."  
I really didn't know how she expected me to respond. I walked over to the kitchen to find something I might want to eat.  
"Have you talked to Garnet at all? I...I think she's trying to ignore me."  
"Not...really..." I answered, distracted by the pantry's contents.  
_Cookies...canned pasta...chocolate. Okay. Chocolate's supposed to make you feel better, or something like that. Guess I'll try that._  
"What do you mean, 'not really?' "  
I started walking back towards her. "I mean, I saw her, and I asked her, 'hey, can we talk?' And she just said," (I tried to drop my voice a little in a poor imitation) " 'Not about that.' and crossed her arms. And then she walked away."  
"Did she know what you were going to say? Was she using future vision?"  
After Steven was born, Garnet told us that she wasn't going to use her powers to see the future on us. So, she wouldn't try to figure out what we would do, or what would happen to us...she said something I don't remember, but I think it was like, "because I don't want it to take away from the trust we have in each other." It felt like so long ago now.  
But it wasn't just that Pearl lied to us. Garnet could have found out right away if she had looked for Pearl. If she had broken her rule. So for all we knew she could be rethinking the whole thing.  
"I don't know, maybe. Or maybe it was just _sooooo_ obvious, like what else would I even want to talk about?"  
"Missions? Peridot?"  
"Pearl, it sounds like Garnet wants to get away from us so bad she went to go hang out with _Greg _. There's not going to BE any missions. Not while it's like this."__  
"But...Steven's there."  
"Yeah. And so is Greg."  
"Garnet doesn't _hate_ Greg."  
"Okay, but even though Garnet kinda gets along with people it's not like she's...y'know...friendly? I don't think she'd do something like this just because she wants to hang out with him."  
I had eaten the chocolate bar in a few bites. It wasn't working yet. I started walking back to the temple.  
"Wait."  
Pearl sighed, and took a deep breath, and then sighed again.  
"I'd like to talk...a little more."  
"Um, sure, I guess." I turned back to face her again.  
"So what was it like, then, when you fu-...I mean, when you were Sugilite?"  
She was trying not to look at me. And she was blushing. I didn't know how to explain, or what she wanted to hear.  
"It was kind of like Garnet was trying to shut me out. She didn't say anything then, either, and I knew she was mad at me. We were still stronger than usual, but it wasn't like that other time..."  
I suddenly realized what I was saying and stopped myself.  
A painful silence. Another deep breath. I moved a bit closer to her, waiting to see if she would react negatively.  
"Amethyst...how do I fix this? How can I make things go back to normal?"  
“I don't know. I don't think you can? Not without Garnet...this is still between the two of you.”  
“I tried to apologize, but I can't get her to talk to me! There has to be some way you can help.”  
“I already told you, she won't talk to me either! What do you expect me to do, anyway? Garnet's just going to do...whatever she feels like. She's not going to do anything until she's ready.”  
"There just has to be some way."  
"I just don't know, Pearl." I sat down. Not next to her, but on the floor, near her. "I wish...that you could worry less. If you've tried to talk to her, and she doesn't want to, then you've done as much as you can." I touched her leg softly. "She won't be mad forever. Garnet needs us, too, you know?"  
She seemed a bit distracted, but I felt-and saw-her relaxing just a bit.  
"It's not just Garnet." She sounded almost deflated. "When I think about the way that I've treated Steven sometimes...and he was so worried when I was training with Connie...I realize there must be something I don't understand. I just can't do this...it feels like I never do anything right. I can't figure out how to fix this...I just don't know why I keep..."  
She stopped. The door had been opened. They were back. Pearl, it seemed, had worried endlessly about this moment, hoping that something would change as soon as Garnet returned, but to me it seemed all but insignificant. Nothing was different between them, though Steven and Greg were a bit more upbeat.  
"I'm...going outside." Pearl said, stepping toward the door.  
"Do you want me to..."  
"No." She cut me off.  
Pearl didn't want to talk to me. _Well, great, I guess I fucked THAT up._ Sure, Steven was happier. But it wasn't enough.  
I decided to go back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! I finished (???) another one! Next chapter will be a bit different! And it gets happier from here...I think...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl begins to recover from the Sardonyx incident.

Hours had passed. I had gone outside along the beach, remembering so many things that had happened there, but each only briefly distracted me from the thought I was carrying before Garnet came back to the house. It lingered even as I returned to my room, barely noticing Steven alone again, reading on the couch.

 _I don't know why I keep making everything worse_. That's what I wanted to say. But it was hard enough to even just admit that to Amethyst. I wasn't sure I could've said it even if the door hadn't opened. And it implied the truth that I couldn't avoid.

 _I made this worse, too_.

But it was still Peridot's fault. Maybe, if I could stop her, though...that would be one thing I could make better, right? I just had to think of a way. I was about to get out my swords for a little bit of practice, before I remembered something else that was still in the pool: the escape pod. The work I had done with it previously was trivial; the motion systems weren't advanced enough to give me any trouble fixing, and the lasers I used to move the poles were built into it just like all of the other weapons. It wouldn't help me find Peridot directly-at least, not unless I wanted to just fly it arbitrarily around the world until she happened to show up-but there had to be something I could do with the newer Gem technology it contained. I would just have to figure out what.

=======================================================

Despite a humiliating failure to stop Peridot, one that was unfortunately once again caused by myself, we were able to find her, escape her devious traps, score a clear material victory, and even make up...a little. It was clear that my relationship with Garnet would not be the same for quite some time. I certainly hoped that, relative to the duration our lives, it would not a very long time; obviously, I could hardly stand it if she were upset with me for millennia, and the threats we knew about on Earth were worrying enough even were we at our most united. And that's to say nothing of the unimaginable schemes of Homeworld. What did they want from Earth now, 5000 years after the war? What would they have done if Jasper had succeeded in returning us to the Diamond Authority? After all that I had seen the first time, I couldn't hardly bear the terror these thoughts filled me with. In that darkness, I had one light, guiding everything I did...Rose Quartz. Without that light, could I fight the same way again?

At any rate, it was clear from Peridot's manipulation of us that she had realized we were tracking the use of Earth's warp pads to find her, and we therefore concluded that she would not try to use them again. So there was no more use for the system I had constructed, and due to our negative associations with the pod I prepared to destroy it, salvaging the computer systems for possible future use. I had disconnected it from the temple's main warp pad and was getting ready to send it to my room, when I was interrupted by an excited voice.

"Hey, Pearl," Amethyst greeted me. "What if you put that in my room instead?"

"W-what?"

"Well, I just thought, if you're turning it into junk anyway, then keeping it there makes it a lot easier to find a place for the junk...parts, or whatever. And...I was hoping you might want to hang out. Because we haven't seen each other around much lately."

I didn't expect this kind of question, so I wasn't sure how to respond. I could see that my moment of surprised hesitation seemed to worry her slightly.

"Uh, I mean, not to dwell on all that or anything. I'd just be happy to see...to talk to you again now that we're not all so miserable all the time, you know?"

 _Well, I'm not really the best at multitasking. It'll be hard for me to talk to her while I'm focused on work...or the other way around. But, she really wants to, and I guess I might like it too._ "...That sounds nice, Amethyst."

Shortly afterward, we had relocated the pod to Amethyst's portion of the temple, as well as the box of tools I would need to take everything apart. The room didn't smell as bad as I had been afraid of. But it was still an ugly mess. Several ugly messes. Everywhere.

The first step would be to extract the computer system. Once I finished that I wouldn't have to worry about accidentally breaking anything else. Amethyst watched in silence, from a couple meters away, as I began to work around the edges of the dash panel. I quickly became absorbed in the task, and after what I imagine was quite some time (I had already lost track) Amethyst was behind me, watching from over my shoulder.

"S-sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to bore you."

"What? C'mon, P, this is amazing! Is everything from Homeworld like this?"

"Most things, I guess. There are lots of abandoned machines and computers at all of the kindergartens too, you know. But Garnet and I...we just don't like dealing with that stuff. We really thought we could just leave it all alone once the rebellion ended."

"Oh." There was another awkward stillness. It seemed to happen a lot when we were talking like this. "I wish I was better at this. Then maybe I could help you!"

"Hm? Oh, it's fine, Amethyst. I'm perfectly alright handling this."

"I know, but I just mean...in general. I don't feel like I'm much help with anything but fighting. And...you're even better than me at that, too."

"Amethyst, you know that's not the point! We're successful because we work as a team...it's not about who's best, and if it was, I can't possibly match up to Garnet either."

"But you beat us that one time!"

"I beat _Sugilite_ , and she was arrogant and careless. Because you weren't working as a team."

"It's true...when I was fused with Garnet, I couldn't think of anything but how strong I felt. How strong WE felt...I wish I could have that all the time, instead of just...being me."

I involuntarily let out a nervous sound, somewhere between a gasp and a laugh.

"Pearl...?"

"Amethyst, I understand just what you mean. When I'm with Garnet as Sardonyx, I get to feel confident, and like...I'm in control."

"I figured it was something like that. It's why I tried to help you, back at the hub."

"I see." I put down the screwdriver, realizing I wasn't using it at the moment, and turned to look at her, resting my weight on the opening of the pod. "Amethyst, I'm sorry about what we said. It was-"

"Pearl, please. You don't have to apologize for everything all the time."

"But I'm just...not as strong as I used to be...as I need to be. With Rose, I knew...that I wanted to be with her, always. That I wanted to do everything I could to help her. It made everything so simple. Nothing is simple anymore. We're up against so much that I never would've imagined before."

"See? You're being too hard on yourself! Things ARE tougher than they used to be, so of course we don't know how to deal with everything. And you're still so strong...not just at fighting. You know tons about history, and science, and making and fixing stuff. You work hard all the time, taking care of Steven and the house. You're always practicing, and planning, and trying to learn more. I...I mean, it's not how I do things, but I think that's really cool. Compared to you, I always feel kind of like I barely do anything..."

I could see what she was trying to say, but I still could hardly think of those things as "special." They were just...the way I am. The way that I've always done things, more or less, ever since I escaped from pure servitude on Homeworld.

"Amethyst, I think, maybe...you're being hard on yourself, too. There are plenty of things to admire about you."

"Like what?" She looked away from me.

"Well, you're really brave, and you never give up, even if you don't know how things will turn out. You're good at talking to people, and understanding them...I wouldn't even be talking to you like this if you hadn't started it...And you really love the earth and all the new experiences here. I also think...that you're beautiful, Amethyst."

"W-what?" She turned further away, so I couldn't see her face at all.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, I just...never thought you felt that way. It seemed like you kinda thought I was a disappointment, or maybe...beneath you."

"Amethyst...of course I would never feel that way...I'm so sorry...and I hope that someday, we'll understand each other better." She faced me once again, still blushing slightly. "Now, would you like to give me a hand with this? I think I could probably use it," I said, gesturing back to the inside of the pod.

"Yeah, sure!" she replied.

After we removed the computer, we relocated it to the center of the temple and each returned to our own rooms until later. I couldn't stop thinking about what I had said to Amethyst.

Everything I had complimented her about was true, of course; I would never lie like that. But I also realized something else:

_I would have said all of those things about Rose Quartz, too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long wait since last chapter! It took longer to write because it was longer, but I was also busy with moving to a new apartment and taking care of some stuff for work that shouldn't interfere next time. Still planning out exactly how I want things to go from here since these first few were the easy part to set up, but hopefully the next chapter will come much more quickly than this one did.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst seeks advice from an old friend.

I had to talk to someone. It couldn't be Steven, since I had no idea if he'd understand. And I wasn't sure it would be the best idea to bring it up with Garnet, either. Considering all that, there were only a couple more choices, and I definitely wasn't going to Greg with this.

 _Jeez, I don't remember which one it was...I really hope this is the right house. Well, here goes nothing._ I rang the doorbell. Moments later, the door opened.

"Hello? Who is it?" Vidalia, holding Onion in her arms, looked around for a moment, then finally down to see me. "Oh! Amethyst! It's good to see you again!"

"Hey, Vidalia!"

"Did Steven come with you?"

"Nah, I guess he's busy getting something ready for Beach-a-Palooza." Onion was clearly disappointed. "Sorry, little guy."

"Beach-a-Palooza, huh? I guess it is that time of year again. Any idea what he's up to?"

"No...y'know, last year, he kinda roped us into it...the other Gems and me, I mean, but I guess he's got something else planned this time."

"Well, either way, that's nice. Can I get you anything to eat?"

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks though!"

"So what brings you over here? I, uh," she started, while putting Onion down, gently encouraging him to head to his room up the stairs. She lowered her voice to lean in toward me, "I hope it's not the same stuff as last time?"

"Oh, nah, you were right, that all finally worked out. Right now..." She was beckoning me over to the couch where we spoke the last time. "Well, I, um..." I couldn't find the words. I had no clue where to start.

Eventually I guess she realized I wasn't going to manage to actually get anything out. "Is something wrong, Amethyst?"

"Uhhhh...not...I...I don't think so? I don't...exactly know...what's going on..."

"Is this about Pearl again?"

"Y-yeah...it is."

"Have you tried talking to her?"

"Well...I HAVE been talking to her. And that's why...I know something's different than it used to be.

"Y'know, I haven't always gotten along with Pearl, especially in the time since we first met Greg. But now when I talk to her...I want her to be happy. I want to get to know her better, and talk to her more. And I want her to like being around me. I know that's been hard for both of us, but I..."

"Amethyst, do you think you might be in love?"

"How would I know that?"

"Seriously? You've...never been in love before? Aren't you, like, thousands of years old?"

"Uh, yeah, but you know I've only really known like, ten people in all that time."

"And one of them was Pearl!"

"I mean, Pearl was usually really nice to me, back in the day. She was only interested in Rose, though. From talking to her...she didn't know what to do after she left us, either, and neither did I, and that's why things got worse...for so long...but uh...I guess it hasn't really been THAT long, considering how long we've been together. Still, you know what I mean."

Vidalia nodded. "I see."

"But...I've always kind of looked up to her. Not just because she's taller than me, I mean. She just makes everything she does look so easy. And she's so pretty..."

Vidalia's face curved into a bit of a smile, and it seemed she was straining to keep it under control. "Well, gosh, Amethyst...I think you know how you feel."

"Well, that's great I guess, but I still don't know what to _do_."

"The best thing, when you like someone, is to tell them how you feel. But...everyone knows that's hard. What if they don't feel the same way? Or if it's just not the right time?"

I nodded, as the worries she described became real in my mind. _I really have no idea what she thinks of me. We've been close friends for so long, but what I'm talking about now...it's different._ And then worse thoughts followed. _We don't even KNOW anyone else. What if she does love me, but like, only because there's no one else to choose from?_ I laid back and sighed deeply.

"Amethyst, it's okay, you don't have to rush in. I mean, you guys are gonna live a super long time, right? You can take as long as you need." She laughed. "Really, though...if you like spending time with her, and she seems to enjoy talking to you too, then that's great for now. Just keep doing that. You'll become closer, and, the more you get to be with her, the clearer it'll be how she feels about you. Then you can decide what you want to do about it."

I looked away. It took me some time to think about what she was saying. All of this sounded so obvious now that she said it, but I really needed to hear it. "Thanks, V. I think I get it now."

Seeing the mood lighten, she finally let loose that wonderful smile that I'd come to know and love so many years ago. "Anytime, Amethyst. I'm always here if you need me." I reached out and gave her a hug. "You don't need anything else before you go, do you?"

"Nah, I'm good. See you later!"

As I left, it suddenly hit me how excited I was to go home to the temple...and see Pearl.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl goes soul-searching on her own.

I learned long ago, back on Homeworld, that my memory was poor. It seemed I had been innately created with some fundamental knowledge; who was to own me, and how to respond to her requests. By the stars, how I've tried to forget those things, my most shameful, awful, memories. But it's never worked, even as I've struggled so much to remember anything longer than it seemed I needed to. And on Homeworld, surrounded by so many ancient, unchanging gems, in an ancient, unchanging world, it often felt like time itself was standing still.

I never learned if other Pearls had the same problems. I imagined so, of course, but we were largely forbidden from speaking to each other at all. It was only allowed in official capacities, and there were never to be more than two of us adjacent at any time. We were to dedicate all we had to our masters, they said. But in time I became certain it was all simply because they feared what we might learn from each other.

And when I fell in love with Rose Quartz—when i realized that one day, my life and my world might truly change—I also realized that I could no longer accept the possibility that I might one day forget everything. So I developed my holographic recall, improving myself beyond my given functions for the first time. It was slower and more difficult than simply remembering things (when I could, anyway) but it came with the assurance that those events I captured with it would remain with me for as long as I had my gem...my Self.

On the same night that Steven was kidnapped by Peridot, I was alone in my room. I thought of the way Amethyst had treated me recently, and then of something I wanted to remember. The day we first met. It had drifted so far out of my focus, but of course, I would never forget. I relaxed my form, and closed my eyes, letting the strange sensation of release consume me...

The image appeared, and I reopened my eyes. I saw rough shapes of the Kindergarten, and Pearl...myself...running toward Rose and Garnet. "Rose! Rose!" she cried out. "I found a gem here!"

"A corrupted Gem?" Rose asked.

"I...I don't think so...she seems to be in control of her form. She looks like a quartz, purple...but she is pretty small..."

Garnet gave a knowing nod to Rose, who followed up with another question. "Did you talk to her?"

"No." Pearl sighed. "You know that's something I struggle with."

Garnet reached out and put her hand gently on Pearl's shoulder. "It's fine, Pearl. You did great."

"She's...over there, in one of the holes," Pearl said, pointing out to the cliffs. "You'll know it when you see it..." As Rose walked away, Garnet smiled. Pearl was a bit flustered. "What's going to happen?"

"I don't know, Pearl. But I've got a good feeling."

"I see." Pearl remained still, thinking about what to say next.

Garnet interrupted her silence. "I can understand why you wouldn't know this, but Quartz soldiers who are small just...stayed in the ground longer. Homeworld thinks they are weak. And you know what that means." Pearl slowly nodded. "But we're all glad we aren't on Homeworld, aren't we?"

"Yes...I wonder how long she's been here."

"I doubt she was around last time we were here. But that was many years ago. She may have been alone for a long time. Just...be gentle with her, alright?"

"Of course, Garnet." 

My mind hung for a moment on those words. _I haven't always been gentle with her...I wish I'd done more..._

Soon, Rose returned, holding the small gem out in front of her, facing forward. "Amethyst, these are the other Crystal Gems! This is Garnet, and she's Pearl."

"Hi." Garnet was back to her usual concise conversation style.

"Hello, Amethyst. It's nice to meet you!"

"WOW! You guys are all so big! I wanna be big too!"

Pearl recoiled just a bit, unprepared for the energetic response. Rose laughed. Even after so many years, hearing it made me feel lighter, like she was right back with us.

"Amethyst, I'd like for you to come back to the....the temple, and live with us there." _This wasn't that long after the war. She was still trying to teach herself not to say "base."_ "We'll teach you how to fight, so you can see the world and help us protect it. There are so many wonderful things here on Earth. And you won't have to be alone anymore. If you want to join, you'll always be one of us."

Her eyes lit up. "Yes! I want to do that!"

Rose's soft, sweet voice spoke one more time. "Wonderful! We're so glad to have you with us, Amethyst. Now, let's go home, everyone." The scene faded as everyone left in the direction of the warp pad.

So much had changed. Even if she still wasn't as...controlled...as I was, she had learned and grown a lot since that day, and I was proud of everything we'd been through together. And the irony of Rose's words lingered in my mind. Rose was no longer "one of us." But Amethyst was. Just like me. And Garnet.

Well, neither of _us_ were like Garnet. But...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm certain that parts of this chapter will be contradicted in canon at some point, if not basically the whole thing, which, oh well! I really enjoyed writing this chapter and trying to come up with a different angle to parallel the previous one; Pearl is not very social so it just made sense to me that she would go back into her own mind before actually talking to someone. Really, this is getting more fun to write in general as I get further along, though I'm not quite sure when I'll wrap this story up in the show's chronology (I'll probably have a better clue by the time the next hiatus starts). For now I'm really excited about the next few chapters at least!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Placeholder implying that this takes place right after "Back to the Barn." I'm too tired for this right now.

The robot fight might not have ended the best for Pearl, but needless to say, I was so excited to see her assert herself and clock Peridot right in the face. To see her confident and proud of herself, even for a moment, showed to me that she was still growing. That she had learned something from her fight with Garnet.

(I wondered if she'd picked up on the signals I was trying to send her during the art competition, but I wasn't ready to ask. And I don't know what Steven was thinking, because Pearl's painting was obviously _so_ much better.)

We walked away from the barn, into the sunset-not too far, as Steven assured us we would have to be prepared to pick up work again as soon as possible tomorrow-but enough to get a little privacy. I tried to convince Pearl to come to a wrestling event with me, after things went back to normal. She seemed a little reticent, but maybe willing to play along. And this time she wouldn't have to do it by saying she'd "destroy all wrestling!" 

Finally, at the top of a small, grassy hill, she stopped, and sat. I followed her lead, angling myself toward her, but not for a head-on confrontation. She held her hand in front of her face thoughtfully for a moment, then spoke. "So Steven told you, then. The reason Peridot and I were fighting."

"Yeah, well...I mean, I asked...I really didn't think it would be anything...like that..." I fumbled for anything to say. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

She laughed, short and bitter. "I liked...that you didn't know. I liked knowing that there was one gem who would only ever see me for who I am, not what I was made to be."

"But I still totally do, Pearl! I don't get how this is supposed to change anything!"

"Unfortunately, things already have changed, Amethyst. You haven't had to deal with Homeworld before now, but I'm afraid that, whatever's coming in our future...we can't really avoid it. If Homeworld want something from Earth now, they're going to try to get it. And while Rose and the rest of us have never been too eager to teach you about Homeworld, I get the feeling Jasper and Peridot don't feel the same way. Even after we stop this...'Cluster'...I'm afraid we're only going to see more of them, not less."

"Is there going to be another war?"

"I don't know. But we aren't going to just give up, and we know can't put anything past them."

There was nothing for me to say. No way for me to understand everything Pearl had been through over so many years.

"All Rose wanted during the war...was to not have to fight again. She truly believed that we could win, and be free. And after it was all over, she didn't try to rebuild her army, only leading us to help protect the earth from all the Diamonds had left behind." She looked away from me, shaking. "I guess...she didn't know about _this_."

The Cluster. It didn't even seem real, what Peridot was telling us. How was it even possible?

"But...now, we do." I wanted to reassure her. "We know, and we have time to do something."

"I'm scared, Amethyst. We've never seen anything like this. We can't just fight it. And, apparently, we have to trust Peridot.."

She was right, of course. Peridot tried to kill us several times before Steven recklessly released her. He clearly saw something we didn't. Something I didn't understand.

"But Steven does."

"Steven is...naive, at times. I'd have a lot more faith if it were Rose. Even more than you, he just...doesn't know...what Homeworld is like. I know he's trying, but..."

"But we've all grown, and changed. Don't you think Peridot can do the same? And if Peridot can, then anyone can."

She sighed. "I can only hope you and Steven are right."

I laid back, feeling exhausted after a long day of...well, all I really did was sit around and cheer for Pearl. But I was really into it! I wasn't entirely sure what I was hearing was real, as I dozed off, but she spoke once more.

"For so long, I felt like I had nothing to fight for without Rose, like I was only going through the motions. But today, imagining what might happen if we don't succeed...

"I mean, of course I'm concerned about all life on this planet. But only one person who calls this place home...has been through so much with me, and fought with me, and taught me so much. A person who was here today, when I needed to prove who I am, cheering me on the whole time.

"Amethyst...I want to save your home. I want to fight for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to move this fic forward from nonstop angst is harder than I thought. But I think we're getting somewhere!


	7. Chapter 7

After the four of us had all decided to take a break from working on the drill, Peridot continued, as invested as ever. If anything it seemed she preferred to keep working during our resting times, as it was her opportunity to make advancements without us "getting in the way." Which, of course, was a ridiculous idea, though I had to admit I could understand her being used to a certain way of doing things. As difficult as it was to get along with her on any level, Steven and Garnet remained resolute that the effort would be worth it. It was hard to imagine that they could _both_  be wrong.

Despite my faith in Garnet, I had been, well, _hesitant_ , to discuss other recent events with her. I was afraid of how she might respond; would she become angry with me again? But my own thoughts had simply run in circles for too long, and I decided I finally needed to hear her input. She laid on top of the barn, staring up at the starry sky, a pastime she seemed to relish without the distraction of her gem-hunting errands and other efforts at the temple. So I softly leaped up near her, sitting parallel, but holding my legs tight to my chest.

"Good evening, Pearl." She was calm as always.

I didn't have a polite response in mind. I couldn't think about anything but what I wanted to say. "Garnet, I was wondering if I could talk to you about...love." That part came out alright, but then I really felt panicked. "I...I understand...if you don't want to talk with me about this...after everything that's happened."

 She sat up to look at me. "It's alright, Pearl. This is a topic I'm very interested in." She smiled reassuringly.

_Oh stars, what does she know already? Garnet is brilliant, so...probably everything. It's fine. That's why I'm talking to her._

_It's fine._

"So. It's Amethyst." Her smile extended so quickly that I became even more certain she knew before I said anything. _She's just excited to hear it from me_. It was like when Stevonnie first brought themself to the temple; she was beaming so much I felt she must be at her limit.

"Do you really think...it can work?"

"Of course it can. I've noticed how much she cares about you lately. She's very interested in your happiness and well-being. You and Amethyst _are_ very different...but so are Ruby and Sapphire."

Was that actually reassuring? "I highly doubt we could ever be Opal all the time."

She laughed, just a little. "Maybe not. But you shouldn't worry about that. Fusion isn't the only bond you can share, or the only way you can show your feelings for each other. When Ruby and Sapphire decided to stay together, it was completely unheard of. I'm certain that you and Amethyst can find out what works for **you** , as long as you're patient and caring.

"And...you and Amethyst have more in common than you realize."

"What do you mean?"

She calmed slightly. "That's for you two to find out. I'd hate to ruin the fun."

"I...understand. Thank you, Garnet." I was glad to know she felt that way, but part of me still felt awful. I wanted to apologize again and again, even knowing that it would do nothing at this point. Just then, she put her hand softly on my shoulder.

"Pearl...thank you. I know it wasn't easy for you to come talk to me about this."

"Hmm." I nodded to acknowledge her, but there was nothing else for me to say. While I was grateful, I also realized Garnet had not given me any suggestions for how to deal with...my feelings. Or Amethyst. But honestly, all I could ask for was to be reassured that this wasn't a mistake. And if Garnet didn't think so, then it was definitely worth a shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this took way too long, but I've finally figured out how I want to take this one to an ending. The last few chapters will likely be a bit short, but I'm really excited to work them out since I have some really cool ideas to work toward the conclusion...of this story, anyway, since obviously the larger threads of the show go on far past what we've seen...


	8. Chapter 8

I wanted to get away. Away from working on the drill _every day_ , which made me feel stressed out and useless more than anything else. There was just nothing for me to do, and while being around Peridot and Steven was fun enough, there was only one reason for me to really stick around. And she was busy all the time too, until one night, when I was hanging out around the back of the barn...

"Pearl! Do you need anything?"

"No, I was just...hoping to relax and spend some time with you. We've been even busier than usual, lately."

I nodded, remembering I'd said something like that back when this had all started. But right now, as we felt the weight of everything that was on the line, it was more true than ever.

"I'd like that. Wanna head somewhere a little more, uh, out of the way?"

She nodded, and we slowly walked together over the nearby hills, until we could barely see the barn. We sat down, and I waited for her to start. It took longer than I expected.

"When Rose told me that joining her would mean I would have to live on Earth forever, I truly thought that...that we'd always be together. For a long time, I thought only of her. Not what it meant to be on this planet. Not you and Garnet. And in a way, not even of myself. I told myself, as long as she was happy, I would be happy. I suppose...that didn't quite turn out how I thought."

"You mean Greg."

"It...wasn't just him. But it was certainly the clearest sign. She was happier than ever, and I wasn't. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't deal with it well." She paused. "I'm sorry, Amethyst."

"You really don't need to apologize to me. I mean, I'm not gonna say I understand how you felt or anything, but...I think we all had some hard times once Greg came into the picture. And even Garnet didn't know what was going to happen. I remember her being really excited at first though...I guess it must have been _because_  she didn't know."

"Steven is...certainly full of surprises."

I saw her smile just a bit.

"It's kind of fun, isn't it?" I started, though I was unsure how she'd take it. "I know it's a big change, and that's not always easy for you, but it's been exciting, too. We've gotten to do so much cool stuff with him around."

She laughed. It was quiet and short and absolutely beautiful. "You really are from this planet."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're just so...human...sometimes. Most gems don't have that kind of enthusiasm, or any kind of drive to experience new things." Her smile grew. "And you get along with children so well, too."

"I guess." I wasn't sure how to take that.

"I admit I still don't entirely understand, but I've really come to admire that about you."

"I mean, I'm _from_  here, what else would I be like?"

"Oh, believe me, I'd rather not think about it."

 

I laid back. Pearl seemed to be happy, and I was too. Maybe it was time to really talk about my feelings, finally. Part of me was afraid to let this quiet moment end. But after some time, I sat up.

"Pearl?"

"Yes, Amethyst?"

"I'm...glad you're here."

"What? You mean, on Earth?"

"Well, yeah, I guess, but I more meant...here, with me. Right now."

"I see. Well...I'm glad that you're here too."

That was a little reassuring to hear, I guess.

"So, I mean, uh. We haven't always gotten along the best, and I know that some things will probably never change. But I...I really care about you, Pearl. So I was kinda hoping that we could maybe...become a little closer...I mean, we've lived together forever pretty much, but you...know what I mean..."

I looked away. It felt like this wasn't coming out very well.

"Amethyst." I turned my head to face her again. Even in the faint light, I could see her face flushed with color. "I understand, completely. And I think that I'd like that."

"I don't really know how this is supposed to work, though. I mean, _humans_  go out on dates, but you don't really eat, or watch movies, or do anything like that."

"She laughed. "I think you're getting ahead of yourself. For now, what if we just tried...being _us_  for a while?"

It took me a few seconds to realize what she meant.

"Oh, I see." I smiled at her. "You know, I've been thinking, if we really might have to start fighting tougher gems soon, it'd be good if we practiced our dancing and stuff. Just...a little something that's been on my mind."

"That's a good point, Amethyst. We should always be ready. And, well, I don't have any other plans tonight." She stood up, and reached out her hand to me. "Shall we?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize again for another massive delay. This is really kind of "the end" of the main story so I was trying really hard to be at least sort of happy with it, and I really ran into motivation issues because the show got so far ahead of me. Going to try to get the last couple chapters edited and put up together soon; they're quite short and more of just a follow through than more plot. Thank you for reading!


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